10 July 2007

Ten things I hate about my commute

1. Slow walkers - Picture the scene. You're running a little late. Your watch isn't very accurate so you don't know whether you'll catch the train. You speedwalk half a mile, turn into the narrow alleyway leading to the station and, oh, there's someone walking right in the middle, not allowing you past, at a frustratingly slow pace!

2. Day trippers on commuter trains - there they are in their jeans, planning their nice day out shopping, and saying 'oh look at all these people stood up, wouldn't you hate to do that every day?' Well there'd be fewer standing passengers if PEOPLE LIKE YOU WAITED UNTIL AFTER 9AM TO START SHOPPING!!!!

3. Seat hoggers - on my train, you get rows of three seats, facing each other. So what do you get? Two besuited middle-aged men in the window seats, two in the aisle seats, and two empty seats in between. And when they see more people coming on, do they move to allow you to sit easily in the aisle seat? No, you must push through the hard kneecaps if you dare to take a seat.

4. People having conversations really loudly on the train - I read on the train to and from work. It's my chance to escape from the fact that I'm either heading to a day of boredom or returning from one. So don't distract me from my escapism by talking about who walked into your hotel today!!

5. Annoying ringtones - Some I don't mind. But it's when it's a real tone of some awful song that only gets three bars in and gets stuck in your head for the rest of your day, and then is rammed home when the owner of such an irritating device keeps getting calls and hanging straight up. Just answer the phone and say, "Sorry I can't talk but there's a fellow commuter nearby who looks like she wants to kill me."

6. Unhelpful station announcements - "We are sorry to announce that the 0819 Northern service to Leeds is delayed." OK, well it's 0830 now, I'd spotted the delay, any idea when it'll bother to turn up?

7. Overexcited young people - One or two can be endearing. But when it's a gaggle of teenagers going to some school trip, and they think it's hilarious to shout 'tickets please' whenever the conductor passes through, now you're just taking the mick.

8. The 'bit wet' effect - OK fair enough, when the majority of Yorkshire was recently flooded, I could understand the cancellations. But surely we are a sophisticated enough nation to keep the trains running to schedule when it's just a normal amount of rain? Clearly not ...

9. Getting a bus - Usually linked to the 'bit wet' effect, which also makes buses run ridiculously slowly too. And you always, always end up sat near a smelly person.

10. Leeds station - I almost forgot, but it didn't entirely escape ... It's 8.40, I'm tired and probably a bit dizzy from being stood up or squashed between two businessmen, the last thing I need is to breathe in the stench from the various food outlets in Leeds station. Seriously, that smell can't come from anything edible. I'm never going near a Subway ever again.

1 comment:

SHOEGAL said...

You forgot how annoying it is to have to find and hand in your ticket on exiting Leeds Station. I don't think there is another station in the country that makes to you do this.