04 October 2007

Ten Things I Hate about Christmas

1. The build-up - it's just October and Christmas stuff has been in the shops for weeks already. Who devotes three months of their life to Christmas preparations? Other than Santa of course
2. Family politics - when I was single and living at home it was so easy: Christmas dinner with Mum, go to see Dad in the evening, then see the extended family on Boxing Day. Now I have a husband and in-laws to consider too, and there's the juggling act of making sure me and my brothers will actually cross paths at some point. Arrgh!
3. Over-indulgence - we've all been there. It's the culinary climax of the year, you can't possibly refuse seconds. But then you end up watching repeats of 'The Two Ronnies' because you're too full even to lift the remote. Which brings me to ...
4. Rubbish Christmas TV - there's always a ridiculous soap wedding, a deluge of sitcom episodes even worse than usual, and then the obligatory films that everyone's heard of but nobody has ever actually managed to sit through
5. Novelty Christmas songs - Now let's get this straight, I'm not talking about Slade, Wizzard or any other Christmas-themed musical gems. I'm talking about the plethora of dreadful 'songs' (often covers) by cartoon characters or reality TV rejects. No time of year excuses that!!
6. Shopping for boys - Fact: Boys are horrible to shop for. Not only do I have a father and a husband, I have two brothers who also both have their birthdays around Christmas. That's six presents. Any inspiration? Otherwise they're all getting socks!!
7. The last day at work - the boss has said that you can go as soon as all the work is done. Which means everyone runs round like headless chickens, shouting at anyone who dares take a ten-minute lunch break and it takes you another hour to wind down from the stress anyway!!
8. Emotional blackmail - shops give you Christmas catalogues which convince you that you must buy everybody a gift, be it your family, your distant work colleagues, or even your pets! Sorry to break this to you, but even if you get him a little doggy Santa jacket, Rover still won't know that it's Christmas, or what Christmas even means!!
9. Christmas cards - I'm not really a card person. I just don't get it. You give someone
a card, they give you one back, ad infinitum. Wouldn't it be easier and less wasteful to just say "Merry Christmas!" and have done with it? Plus there's always that card you get on the last post day before Christmas from someone you've forgotten to send one to ...
10. The aftermath - at some point you must leave Christmas world and deal with the fairly useless food leftovers, the masses of wrapping paper, the presents you don't really want, need or have space for, and the fact that Christmas is basically the end of the year. Yes, another year has gone by, you've failed in your resolutions, you've gone nowhere in your career, it's cold and dark .... pass me those last chocolates!!

1 comment:

SHOEGAL said...

Force all your men to set up Amazon wish lists, then you know what they want and can order it all online - they'll even gift wrap it for you! Tell then that if they don't do this, they're all getting socks.